The Return to the Circle: Why We Gather and How to Facilitate a Women’s Circle Today
- Marion Miller
- 17 hours ago
- 6 min read
There is something instantly grounding about walking into a room where chairs are arranged not in rows, but in a loop. In a world that constantly asks us to look up at a screen, a stage, or a corporate ladder, the circle asks us to do something entirely different: look at each other. By its very design, a circle is beautifully non-hierarchical. There is no "head of the table," no stage for an expert, and no back row to hide in. Every single seat shares the exact same distance from the center, creating an immediate level playing field where power is distributed equally and everyone’s voice holds the exact same weight. The circle size matters too because the bigger it gets the harder it is to really connect and see who is sitting opposite you. The circle by it's very shape and size facilitates the connection you're trying to cultivate.
I have been facilitating a women's circle for decades and it's been a wonderful support for local women to gather and encourage one another as well as meet diverse women from all walks of life. We now have a core group of women who like to attend regularly and are open to newcomers and growing our women's circle in Glen Iris.
If you are reading this, you are likely feeling the pull to host, deepen, or join a women’s circle. It is a powerful calling. The Wise women's circle runs every month in Glen Iris Studio and we are currently a circle of ten women. We come from across Melbourne and many of the women are quite local. We now have guest facilitators coming in to host the circle and have a regular format we follow which works really well for us.
But before we look at how you might facilitate a modern gathering, it helps to understand that you aren't inventing something new. You are remembering something very, very old!
A Shape with No Head: The Ancient History of Circle Practice
Long before we had boardrooms and lecture halls, human survival relied on the circle.
For millennia, Indigenous communities worldwide—from Native American Council Fires to African Village Palava trees and Australian Aboriginal Talking Circles—have used this format to govern, resolve conflict, and pass down wisdom. Even the Celtic pagans in Western Europe gathered in circle inside groves of oak trees.
The philosophy behind it is deeply intentional:
Absolute Equality: In a circle, there is no "head of the table." Everyone is the same distance from the center. No one sits above, below, ahead, or behind anyone else.
The Fire at the Center: Traditionally, communities gathered around a fire for warmth and cooking. The fire became the focal point, keeping everyone's eyes anchored together.
A Sanctuary for Women: Historically, women gathered in secluded spaces during their menstrual cycles (often called Red Tents or Moon Lodges) or to collectively care for children, harvest food, and weave. In these spaces, stories were shared, burdens were divided, and generational wisdom was transferred.
When you sit in a women's circle today, you are stepping directly into this ancient lineage. You are answering a primal need for village, safety, and unfiltered expression.
How to Facilitate a Modern Women's Circle
Hosting a circle doesn’t require you to be a perfect guru; it requires you to be an intentional space-holder. Your job is simply to create a container strong enough to hold whatever the women bring into the room. I offer a Mindfulness for practitioner course that can help you learn how to hold space and we also offer a longer daylong Earth Circle for both men and women wanting to dive deep into this process on country in Boonah.
If you are ready to guide your own, here is a practical, step-by-step roadmap to structuring your gathering.
1.Prepare the Centerpiece: Before anyone arrives.
Build a focal point in the center of your floor space. Use a beautiful blanket as a base, and add elements representing the earth (crystals, flowers), fire (a central candle), and water or air (incense or essential oils). This gives everyone a safe, neutral place to rest their eyes when speaking or listening.
2.The Opening & Threshold: First 10 minutes.
As women enter, welcome them warmly. Once seated, officially open the space. You can light the central candle together, ring a chime, or lead a quick 2-minute grounded breathing exercise. This acts as a psychological boundary, helping them drop their "outside world" to-do lists.
3.Establish the Circle Agreement: Crucial for psychological safety.
Before anyone shares deeply, state the guidelines clearly. Speak from the heart: "Everything said here stays here. We practice deep listening without interrupting, and we do not offer unsolicited advice or try to 'fix' anyone's pain. We are here to witness and sit with sacred silence unless offering something intentional."
4.The Check-In & Sharing: The core of the circle.
Introduce a prompt (e.g., "What are you celebrating, and what are you putting down tonight?"). Pass a meaningful object—a stone, a feather, or a crystal—clockwise. The person holding the object has the floor. Everyone else practices mindful listening. If a woman just wants to sit in silence holding the object, she is welcome to do so.
5.The Circle Activity: Integrating the theme.
Introduce a gentle, somatic, or creative activity to help women integrate their feelings and ground their energy. (See the section below for activity ideas!).
5.The Closing Ritual:Last 5-10 minutes.
Never let a circle just fizzle out. Blow out the candle together, share a group breath, or have each woman share one word describing how they feel leaving the room. Thank them for their vulnerability and explicitly remind them to leave the stories in the room.
Bringing the Theme to Life: The Circle Activity
Once the deep sharing is complete, transitioning into an embodied or creative activity allows the collective energy to shift. It takes the insights gained from talking and anchors them into the physical body. Depending on the theme of your circle, here are a few beautiful activities to incorporate:
Somatic Release & Meditation: Guide the women through a gentle meditation journey, a sound bath using crystal bowls, or a guided visualisation to meet their future selves or release heavy emotions.
Creative Expression: Provide journals for a timed free-write, or set out watercolors and clay. The goal isn’t to create a masterpiece; it’s about intuitive, unfiltered creative process.
Ritual & Releasing: Write down things that no longer serve the group on small pieces of paper and safely burn them in a fire bowl, or pass around a bowl of warm water infused with rose petals for a symbolic hand-washing and clearing ritual.
A Quick Note on "Fixing"The hardest part of running a women's circle is stopping people from interrupting with sympathy or advice. When a woman cries, our instinct is to hand her a tissue or say, "Oh, I know exactly how you feel!" Train your circle to resist this. Handing someone a tissue can accidentally signal "Your tears are making us uncomfortable, please wipe them away." Instead, let her cry. Let her speak. Just breathe with her. There is profound medicine in being seen exactly as you are without someone trying to change it.
Breaking Bread: Tea, Supper, and Social Catch-Up
After the formal closing ritual, the structure of the circle officially dissolves, and the integration begins. Transitioning into a casual social catch-up with tea and supper is where the community truly knits itself together.
Moving from deep, vulnerable sharing straight back into the car and driving home can feel jarring. Nourishing food and a warm cup of herbal tea act as a vital bridge back to the everyday world.
As the kettle boils and the platters of supper are passed around, the energy of the room shifts from sacred silence to warm chatter. This is the space where women can laugh, giggle, talk casually about the week ahead, ask follow-up questions (with permission!), and form the deep, lasting friendships that sustain us outside of the circle walls.
Your Circle Is Waiting
You don’t need an elaborate studio or decades of training to start. You just need a room, a candle, a pot of tea, and the willingness to show up authentically. When women gather in circles, the world changes—one heartbeat, one story, and one shared cup of tea at a time. To join the Glen Iris Wise Women's Circle please register via our website. We hope to see you there.
