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How To Go About Making Major Big Life Changing Decision

Updated: Feb 14, 2023

A lot of my Melbourne clients seek out my life coaching to help them with making major life decisions or getting clear on the next path to take. Sometimes they might be holding two paths up against each other like completing priorities and creating a conflict in their mind. A lot of clients I have worked with have resolved this conflict by taking a completely unknown (at the time) third path but not always.

It might be in leadership, career or personal lifestyle or relationship transition or change that the decision is going to have far reaching impact. There are many ways to make decisions and truthfully sometimes we just leap without truly knowing where we will land. When we are conscious and we want to do deccison making carefully, some coaching and inner reflection can make the choices and awareness you have a lot more intentional.

The best way to start working toward a BIG decision is to quieten the mind into a peaceful space. When we stop the overthinking and worrying about the outcome we can make space for the process of arriving at calm and clarity. If we don't do this step then we could very well end up with a reactive decision that might be all wrong for us. All the answers we need are inside of us already and a good coach works on drawing that out through skilful questioning techniques and leading self reflective practices like a mindfulness dialogue.

Big life decisions are important because they change the course of your life and you know sometimes we really are at a crossroad of change. We are not often taught to be empowered in a way to know what path to take in our lives. We are raised in the system that leaves very little room for the average person to be the creative author of their own life. You really need to work hard and be resilient if you want to forge your own path these days. In fact our culture is so busy telling us who we should be with marketing messages online that it's very difficult to be quiet enough or to even know our own deepest desires let alone how to pursue that direction.

Taking time to reconnect with the deepest part of yourself will give you the agency to know what you want and which way to go and lead your life. This doesn't happen overnight, it's a slow process that requires you keep returning to contemplation and breathing life into the questions. One you get really still through a meditation, just sit, relax and breathe awhile. Outside in nature is a really good place to do this as you will soon become peaceful. You can even ask nature for a sign but don't expect a sign written in English because nature doesn't understand words! Nature speaks in patterns and symbols and one needs to practice opening up their senses and listening deeply. Another thing that we've long forgotten how to do!

You may also like to use some visualisation and start to reflect on a time you were really happy in your relationship with a loved one, at work or during an adventure or holiday. Focus on the somatic feelings that are in your body and how you know this time was enjoyable and happy. It might be a warmth in your tummy, a lightness in your legs, a softness in your chest. Savour this feeling and rest awhile in it and this will help you to know the next step in your decision making. It's a funny thing insight, and it often emerges when we stop trying to look for the very thing we want and just fully open ourselves up to the present. The research on these positive feelings help keep the body tone soft and the mind open to new perspectives.

If this blog resonates with you, you might find the Empower Your Path 6-week coaching program very useful. I will guide you through this process a little more deeply and help you will other tools and strategies to get the most out of your decision making. I suspect you already have an inkling on what the right decision is and just need to do some inner work to have the courage and confidence to step into it and let go of the need to control every possible outcome because the reality is you can't know until you step through the thresholds for change. Working one on one in coaching can help accelerate the growth journey and give you that boost to really tap into your fullest potential.


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