There are times in life that are difficult, painful, and sometimes heart-wrenching. Interestingly, these times can often lead to significant personal growth. However, it is crucial to feel and process our emotions during these periods. Failing to do so can lead to the development of psychological defenses. Often, we seek to escape our emotions, push them away, or relieve ourselves of feelings we dislike. However, if we continually repress our emotions, it can result in what is known in psychotherapy as "complexes." Simply put, avoiding our pain creates suffering and perpetuates the very thing we're trying to escape.
Emotions are data. They help us make sense of the world, provide meaning to our lives, and connect our mind and body. All rational thought and logic must arise from our emotional experiences; it is an illusion to think it can happen otherwise. By learning to be present with and feel our emotions, we can harness deeper potential and strength. In mindfulness, this is called "turning toward" our emotions, an invitation to gently and carefully make space for and contain our feelings.
The mindfulness attitudes can help cultivate the right kind of spaciousness to turn toward emotions. Patience, acceptance, and curiosity can help you be with your more difficult emotions. When you notice an emotion, identifying and labeling it can be beneficial. You can develop more emotional literacy by referring to the wheel of emotions if you're unsure what you're feeling. Remember, an emotion is not a permanent state; emotions are impermanent and change like the weather, sometimes quickly, especially when we are open to them.
Holding emotions in mindfulness brings an accepting quality to your awareness. You will begin to feel less caught up in the emotion and able to experience it more fully with spaciousness. By doing this, you become more like a witness and less enmeshed with the emotion. When you start to zoom out and witness the emotion, it's helpful to engage in some inquiry to understand why you're feeling this way. Emotions are data that teach us about our likes and dislikes, what we are conditioned to like and dislike, and provide a deepening connection to our culture and soul.
When we inquire into our emotions, we can eventually find ways to respond more helpfully. For example, if we feel fear or anxiety, it might be because we have thoughts about something in the future that concerns us. By feeling the emotion, we are guided toward an appropriate response. If we are ruminating, there might be something from the past we haven't let go of. Holding space for emotions can help us understand the thoughts, beliefs, and stories that shape our personal identities. When we create space around our emotions and thoughts, we realize our choices in any given moment and can be more discerning about how we respond. This moment of self-reflection allows you to embrace the emotion fully, be more present in your life, and respond with knowledge and self-awareness. Consider joining my online mindfulness course to learn more about mindfulness and emotions for growth.
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